


putting our fears to bed

by sciencemyfiction



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Bedsharing, Drabble, F/M, Gen, Good End, I haven't written for this fandom in like fifteen years so bear with me on characterization, PTSD RECOVERY, Platonic Cuddling, Trauma Recovery, canon-typical dreaminess, per friend's request, post-kh3, these three all are handling their problems differently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21803062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencemyfiction/pseuds/sciencemyfiction
Summary: After everything, it's time to sleep; but sleep comes easier for some than others.
Relationships: Aqua & Terra (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Aqua

At the beginning of the night, when they're all still punchy with post-battle jangling in their hearts and hands, it seems like they'll never need to sleep again. (The sky shoots red-orange-yellow, and that's okay. Aqua looks back out over the green-blue-dark, and her heart does a different sort of jump, and she turns her head back to the red, fast enough to make her neck hurt.) There's music blaring out of a little machine that Roxas's friends brought to the beach. They call it a stereo. Aqua thinks it seems new and old all at the same time. Out of place. She takes an immediate liking to it. 

There are so many, many people at the beach that the noise is almost louder than the music is almost louder than her thoughts. Which is good, because her thoughts are the unworthy kind, you know: _what if it's not really over_ and _what if I'm just imagining what I want to see_ and worst of all _what if they hate me, what if they're all trying to avoid me, maybe that's why this party is so big and I can't find anyone to talk to, I feel like I don't know these people I don't really know anyone but Ven and Terra and they're talking to-_

Aqua marches herself over to the little rise where a girl named Selphie set up a box. The box is white and red, and plastic, and filled with ice, and packed inside the ice are cans of various drinks. Aqua takes one at random and pulls its metal tab, slowly, slowly, listening to the hiss of carbonation escaping like a dying whisper. She bites the inside of her cheek so hard it hurts. 

She is _not_ thinking those thoughts. They are wrong and she is not going to feel this way, not here, not now. 

But the purple dark of night has been expanding to cover the whole sky, and dusk is coming, and after dusk is nightfall, and that means being shrouded entirely in shadow. 

Aqua drinks the whole can so fast her chest and throat are burning. Whatever the flavor was, she can't place it. It's hard to smell things, taste things, anyway. Her eyes burn too. 

But just when she thinks she won't be able to take it anymore, Ven's voice washes over the world, just a little behind her, soft and so fond and laughing.

"Aqua, look! the stars are coming out!"

She looks, not up at the sky, but over at Ven, at the slightly dazed smile on his face, at his wonder. She sees how he never thought they'd have this again, never all three be together under the same stars, and his happiness washes over her too, and brushes away the clinging doubts and anxiety for a little bit, for long enough that she can smile and follow his lead and say,

"Yeah. Looks like we're going to have a great view tonight, huh?" 


	2. Ventus

The night is so magical and full of wonder he feels like his whole body might burst open and reveal another, smaller Ventus hidden away inside him, younger again, younger enough to make sense of it all. _It's very weird_ , this feeling, indescribable and almost tangible, and he watches the sky because it grounds him, he holds Aqua's hands tight because she found him in the crowd and he was starting to drift, to get tired. (It's awfully late.)

They do find Terra, eventually. He's brooding. When doesn't he brood? Ventus doesn't think Terra always was the brooding type, but he does have the square jaw for it. And broad shoulders. And he's so much leaner than he ought to be, and Ventus does worry about that, when he can focus long enough to worry about anything. Is Terra _okay_? Is he...does he need to see a doctor? Ventus isn't an expert on medicine or anything, really, but he has this feeling like maybe Terra could be sick, after his body was hiked from place to place by a stranger for so many years. At the very least Ventus feels like Terra probably needs to eat more. And sleep. 

(I could keep watch for him. And for Aqua, too.)

When did everyone start pairing off and getting quiet? When did the moon get so high up there? 

It's huge and round and soft and bluish-white. He thinks of Jacques and Cinderella, and looking out over the land from a window he was small enough to stand in. What a beautiful world that was. He hopes she had a night to remember, with dancing and all the joy she could have asked for. 

He hopes...

"Ven?" 

He looks up at Aqua, and feels alarmed to see her face so shadowed, worry wrinkling her brow. Terra needs to rest and recover, to eat and sleep and do normal things like taking care of himself after so long doing anything but; but so does Aqua. He can see it, in the way she grits her teeth, the tremble of her shoulders. Battle-instincts, ready to start a fight if need be. 

"What is it, Aqua?"

"I think we should head back."

"To the shore?" She nods. "All right. I'll find Terra, and meet you at the boat."

He's going to do it. (Do his best.) He's going to look after them both. They can sleep and be safe and Ventus will be the one to keep guard over them, this time. 


	3. Terra

Ventus finds him in a cave behind a door that once was hidden from everyone. The door's smashed in now. On the wall of the cave are crude- and, frankly, awful- chalk drawings of Sora and Kairi eating paopu fruit. He knows this because Sora explained all that to him. He also endured a long explanation about Xehanort and Ansem and Xemnas's hearts and time travel and how he was involved in some of it and Terra did his best to look soft and make sure he wasn't threatening but he saw how Sora and Riku both tensed, how their hands were ready to summon a weapon at a moment's notice whenever he shifted unexpectedly, or his clothing creaked. 

Nothing he does will make them trust him quickly, and he knows that. Terra just needs to be good, good enough that people will give him a chance. He needs to atone for his pride in the past and his foolishness in trusting Xehanort. If he hadn't done those terrible things, hadn't listened to that terrible man, all this would never have happened and everybody would be okay. It's Terra's fault that Sora and Riku lost Kairi, and had to go find her again. It's Terra's fault that Aqua and Ventus suffered the way they did. It's Terra's fault that his father died. 

He has been standing as still and quiet as he dares, trying very hard to look gentle and good, so that no one will be afraid of him. He does not think he has succeeded. 

"Terra!" Ventus's voice, like literal sunshine, parts the shadows of the cave. When did it get so late? Terra has no idea how long he's been standing here, hunching his shoulders and trying (failing) to be smaller.

He turns and does his best non-chalant smile. It feels plastic and desperate. Hopefully Ventus doesn't notice. 

"Hey, Ven. How's the party?"

"Uh," Ventus, distracted, looks behind him with a sort of distant curiosity, as if he can't recall whether the party's been good or bad. "I mean, it's pretty much over, actually. Aqua and I were going to head back to shore, go find a place to sleep. Come with us!"

More than anyone, Terra wants Ventus and Aqua to know they can trust him. He fought them first. He fought to return to them for so long, so long, so long. He feels like he's still fighting. And he's _tired._ Finding a place to sleep sounds so good right now. 

"Okay."

He sort of fades out (this keeps happening; he's so used to it he doesn't really realize it's happening, in fact, because for a long long time it was how he caught his rest, trapped in between and unwhole as he was), and when he snaps back into focus Aqua and Ventus are talking about something as Ventus paddles their little boat onto the shore of the mainland. Terra stands up to disembark, and trips over the edge of the boat when the waves rock it at _just_ the right moment. It's only after he pulls himself up out of where he went face-first into the sand that he realizes he brought Aqua and Ventus with him. 

They're soaked and laughing, and for a good long moment Terra's heart melts with happiness. They're laughing! they're with him, and all three of them are just together, finally, and safe and sound. And he loves them, so very much, and he's so glad they can laugh around him. They splash each other a little and struggle up out of the sand and shallows. Past the sandy beach is a boardwalk, and a row of buildings. Some are homes: Sora's is here, and so is Riku's. Kairi and Selphie live further inland, apparently. Other buildings are storefronts and public service buildings. One is a hostel; this is where the three of them are staying. They come in bedraggled and still laughing a little, between shivers. There's two showers in the whole building, one for women, one for men. Ventus and Terra strip down and shower till their shivers are eased by warmth, and return to the room wrapped in towels, since their clothes are soaked and chilly. Aqua's there already, re-dressed. She dries them and their clothes out instantly, with a flick of her fingers. 

She's so incredibly good at magic. Terra feels the little hairs on the back of his neck rising, and the heat in his face, too. She's so strong, and so- _so_ good. Of course she was the Master of the two of them. He sees it, now. He sees where her loyalty never faltered, and her diligence and patience kept her going when Terra was long lost to his own flaws and faults. 

"Terra?"

Why does she sound worried?

"He didn't eat again," Ventus is saying. But why's he saying that? Terra doesn't need to eat, does he? He hasn't done it in years. He-

" _Terra!_ "

Oh

how

did 

this-?

"A-Aqua?" She's close, her hands warm on his shoulders, her face pressed near enough that he can feel her breath on his cheek, which is starting to get overwarm with all this attention and-

"There you are," and she looks relieved but sounds sad and maybe scared, a little. "Terra, did you eat anything at the party?"

"Why would I?" he says, out loud, without thinking. He sees it was the wrong thing to say, though, almost immediately, and thinks, trying to place why that would be bad. "Oh. I- it's been. It's been a long time since I was the one who made those decisions, I guess."

 _Sorry_ , he wants to add, guiltily. 

"It's fine," Aqua answers, as if he did say it out loud. "You should eat something now, though. I didn't think to save any of the food, but maybe there's a snack machine in the lobby we could use."

"I can get something!" Ventus jumps up as he makes the offer, and Terra feels embarrassed to put them out, but grateful, too. "I'll be right back."

And he leaves, and some part of Terra feels anxious that that'll be the last they ever see of Ventus, but he tries to keep it in check. Besides, right now he has Aqua staring at him and worrying. 

"You look tired," she tells him, and he unthinkingly replies,

"That makes two of us, then."

Flinching, he waits for her to tell him off; but she doesn't. She looks unbearably sad, and happy too, and laughs at him, but not like before in the water. She touches his cheek, and there it is again, she's warm and he's warm where ever she is, and she smiles like the light that gleams off of finely polished steel, sharp and sudden. 

"I missed you."

That's all she says, but he feels the weight of it, in how slowly she forms the words, like it's as hard a thing as she's ever done. Salt tracks are on his face from earlier; he hadn't washed his face in the shower, even though he probably should have. Hadn't occurred to him. But the ocean-salt isn't the same as these new tracks down his face, and hers too. Will they ever stop crying every time they have two seconds alone? Will the three of them ever be able to be as they were? (Can Terra ever prove to everyone- but _especially_ to Aqua and Ventus- that he's safe, now? That they can trust him?) He wishes he had the answer to even one of those questions. But in this moment, Aqua's hand was already on his cheek, and she smooths his tears away, still sniffling at her own. She's smiling, or trying to. 

"I missed you so much, Terra."

He can't be small enough to prove his point, but he can be fierce, and for a moment he is, he sobs a little and leans in till he knocks their foreheads together a little too hard, and presses against her in a desperate plea for affirmation, for acceptance. He wants to hold her, but he doesn't dare do more than that, because he doesn't even know if he has the right to ask. 

"Hold- hold me? Please?"

She holds him. Her arms are warm and strong, and he feels safe, so safe, so safe. 

(It happens again. Ventus is just suddenly in the room and also, they're sitting on the bed. He doesn't remember moving, but they're so gentle with him, and that's what Terra really needs at this exact moment, so he doesn't complain.)

"Wanna try the chips, or the gummies?" Ventus is holding up two different packages of mysterious snacks, and offering them to him. The chips are labeled _sea-salt_ and the gummies are labeled _fruit._ And he knows he's supposed to be making a choice, but _**fruit**_ reminds him of _**somewhere out there, is an island with a star shaped fruit.** _And Terra says softly, 'oh' and pulls out his wayfinder. 

What surprises him most is that, after looking at it for a moment in confusion, Ventus answers, 'oh!' and hands him the gummies. They do taste like _a_ fruit. Terra's not sure which kind it's supposed to be, but they do have a fruit-adjacent taste. 

He's exhausted, and it doesn't take much coaxing to get him to lay down in the bed. There's only the one, though, and Terra doesn't want to be the only one using it. That wouldn't be fair, and also, he wouldn't be able to take it, not one single night more alone with himself. All these years and it wasn't an option, but he needs to be with them now, to know they're alive, to feel their breath in the room and know they're okay. Maybe he says something about that, too. He isn't sure, he just knows that now Aqua is laying down beside him, holding his hand and smiling softly at him. 

"Thanks," he says, already too tired for words. 

"Goodnight," Aqua promises, and Terra knows it will be one, because Ventus is sitting beside them, and everything is finally okay.


End file.
